FOR ME AND MARINA ONLY. <3

- There will be goat porn.

- There will be naked midgets running around headless.

- I dunno about toaster masturbation. Maybe.

- IF YOU HAVE A PENIS, SUCK IT. kthx

That night Caden could barely sleep. He didn't know why he was restless, usually when Axel spent the night his nightmares seemed to disappear. Tonight, however, seemed to be different. Caden watched as Axel softly inhaled and exhaled, snoring once in a while to catch his breathe. He watched Axel sleep for a while, admiring the curve of his cheek bones, the way his eyes unconsciously squeezed together shut for a brief second whenever Axel had an unpleasant turning point in his dream, the way his lips softened up when exhaling. He often thought, "How was I so lucky to have such a great guy in my life?" Caden often thought this thought to himself. Believing his luck would come to an end, and Axel would leave him for a better guy. Except everyday he would come back, loving him more then the day he did before. Axel's loyalty and honesty, was what attracted him to Axel in the first place, after the fact his ass looked great in skinny jeans. With Axel he wasn't afraid to be himself, act childish, and show emotion. For a long time, Caden denied he was homosexual. How could he be? he always asked himself. Caden knew Axel was about to get restless when he started to toss and turn. Caden started to realize this pattern in the past couple of months. He slowly crawled back underneath the blankets, as quietly, and gently as possibly without waking Axel. Caden always loved the feeling he got when he got underneath the blanket. The way the blanket slowly adjusted to his body structure, giving him enough space to be comfortable, but not over bared with heat. Slowly shifting his body weight to the side,Caden moved closer to Axels body. Finally. Caden was able to get back to sleep. He looked at Axel one last time, brushing his hair out of his face, he softly kissed him on the lips before retreating to his side of the bed. Caden pulled the covers over his head and disappeared into the darkness until the first sign of morning would awake him.
Caden awoke to his favorite smell in the morning, fresh coffee. Axel, being a morning person always prepared Caden his morning coffee and toast. Although Caden always told Axel he didn't need breakfast, Axel always resisted, and argued "breakfast is the most important meal of the day sweetheart" and with that he kissed him on his cheek and strolled off to take a shower. Speechless, as always, Caden sat down at the table and started to drink his coffee. Picking up the newspaper Axel already tore through, Caden searched for entertaining articles to read before he got ready for the day. After Axel finished his shower, he came into the dinning area in the small apartment, and sat down. His towel hugging Axe;'s waist, while the sun hit his chest, showing off his slightly toned chest, Caden couldn't help it but get aroused. Axel knew exactly what to do, and say in order to make Caden feel this way, and took it to his advantage. Axel now at a devilish grim, reminded Caden to snap out of his day dream and get his fucking head on his shoulders. Grabbing, the now empty coffee cup, Caden headed off to the kitchen sink to rinse it out and start off his day. All of a sudden, Caden's cell phone started to go off. Caden finished putting his cup in the sink and answered it.
"Caden!?" he heard the girl on the other line scream. It was Ariel. He knew something must have happened, if Ariel, his ex's sister was to be calling him. For a second Caden thought it might just be Ryker in a drug problem, or money issue, which he usually was in, but quickly changed his mind. Ariel never called before, nor ever gave a fuck when they were dating about Rykers money debt. Panic,and fear over came him. "Yeee..sss?" he seemed to finally answer in a stuttering panic. "I have.... bad news.... Ryker... dead..." Was all Caden was able to translate from the sadness in her voice. At that moment. Caden, in an act of fury, sadness, grief, and annoyance, threw his phone across the room, and started to cry.

A x e l
[I need you to survive ]

Axel turned in his sleep, waking up early, as always. Humming to himself, he prepared Caden's breakfast; his morning coffee and his toast. Hearing someone shuffle into the kitchen, he turned. Registering the person as Caden, his face automatically lit up in a smile. The boy always seemed to light up a room, or in is case, he lit up his world. Like nobody had ever done before. Caden made Axel happier than he had ever been before. Caden was the light at the end of the dark tunnel Axel called life. As he often told Caden himself, Caden was "the only thing he needed to survive." Nobody compared to his boyfriend. Caden was his first love, the one and only person he'd ever loved. The only guy he'd ever loved. Still smiling, he left the meal on the counter top, and went to get in his shower.
Axel thought about a few things in the shower. The most recurring thought being, 'What would I do without Caden?' Of course, he had no answer for that. He couldn't imagine living without his boyfriend. Axel could barely handle being separated from the blonde for a mere ten minutes. Without Caden around, Axel became antsy and snappy. Nothing but Caden could please him. Absolutely nothing. Nothing else made him happy. Except for maybe the occasional visit from his parents, which didn't happen often. His parents had all but disowned him when he told them he was homosexual. They'd ignored him for over a month, and nothing had been right afterwards. Axel sighed at the memory, it wasn't something he was fond of thinking about. He shook his wet hair as he stepped out of the shower, as if to shake the thought out of his head, permanently. Drying his abdomen and lower body, be wrapped the towel around his waist, exiting the bathroom, and walking calmly back into the dining room to join Caden.
There was a silence filling the room. It wasn't awkward, it was more pleasant than anything, Peaceful, even. Nothing but the occasional sound of Caden sipping his coffee, or turning the page of the newspaper that Axel had already demolished. After Caden got up to take his mug to the kitchen, Axel stood as well, preparing to go back to the room he and Caden shared to get dressed. He took approximately three steps, then heard Caden whimpering in the kitchen. He spun on his heel, hurriedly walking into the kitchen to see what was the cause of the odd noise Caden was making. Axel, realizing his boyfriend was on the phone, stayed silent, watching Caden's expression. Obviously something was wrong, he could tell by the boy's tone of voice. Suddenly, Caden's phone was launched across the room, and the blonde broke down into a mess of tears.
Rushing over to comfort Caden, Axel knelt down beside him and began rubbing his back. Pulling Caden into his lap after taking a seat on the cold, tiled floor, Axel wrapped his arms around his boyfriend protectively. "Shh, now." He comforted, not even sure what had upset Caden so much. Whatever it was, it must've been major. Caden never cried. He'd only cried once or twice in the long period they'd been dating. Axel continued comforting Caden, squeezing him tightly. "What happened, Cay?" He asked, a small frown on his face. Whenever Caden was upset, Axel most likely would be too. He was never happy when Caden wasn't. But he didn't mind. That way he knew when Caden was unhappy, and he could always do something about it. He continued to hold Caden, feeling his body shake with troubled sobs.

Caden embraced Axel's body. Putting his arms around Axel's torso he squeezed, ever so often lightening up his grip then squeezing it again. Caden knew how annoying it was the talk about your ex, as he liked to put it... "The past is the past, so why dwell in it? However, Caden knew Axel would find out soon enough, so finally relaxing his grip he whipped his eyes and told Axel the truth..

"My ex, Ryker has just past away. I know I shouldn't have made such a big deal over it. I don't want you to think I don't love you, its just... Caden began to say. It took him a while to get his act together, and continue on...

"He was my first love. It took me a long time to figure out what you have figured out already. He taught me everything about love. He taught me not to put so much faith, and trust in others, he taught me what the meaning of love is, and how painful it is to loose it. Although he..." pausing, Caden tried to explain to Axel about the downsides to his relationships.

"Ryker had a drug problem, a giant one. I thought once we started dating he would stop. He never did. He would come home some days, and started to abuse me. Hit me all the time, call me names. I thought it was just his drugs that made him this way. The next day when he saw me all beaten up, he told me how sorry he was. I didn't want to leave him like this. I felt bad that I couldn't do anything to stop him, save him, and at the same time, save myself. The worst happened when he came home after he got into a fight. He came home all bloody and beaten, I cleaned him. I washed away all the blood, held him as he threw up the memories of the night before, kissed him, taking his mind away from the pain. However, that day, he used me. As I washed the blood away he hit me. Hit me hard. I didn't see it coming, nor did I expect it. I wasn't used to him on the nights he smoke, drank, and fought...." Tears started to roll down Caden's face as he retold the most frightful event to ever occur to him.

"When I woke up I was on the bed. I knew Ryker was going to make a huge mistake, but at this point no one could stop him. Not even me. Kicking him with all the strength I had left, I was able to escape. I ran out of the apartment grabbing my phone behind me and called the police. I heard him as he ran after me. I knew he wouldn't be able to keep up. I also knew that was the last time I would ever see him again, as well as speak. For a long time afterwards I thought I made the wrong decision, but now, I knew if I stayed we could never get past that horrible outbreak. I wrote him a long letter and finally ended things. I loved him. I really did. But at the same time, I feared him more then anything. Now he is dead. I don't know what to think. I don't know whether or not I should keep crying, or be angry I never faced him and told him everything I always wanted to. He is gone now. He is gone. Forever." With that Caden, out of energy, collapsed and fell asleep in Axel's lap. He didn't want to wake up, he wanted to stay in Axel's arms forever, until this nightmare was over, and forgotten.





sorry its long. and bad. and yeah. hope you can reply with something better. i can delete it and start over on this reply. idk. kshflkfhkfhksdhfgfiugdshjkfs. :/ <3x

Axel sighed, continuing to comfort Caden. He wasn't sure what to say, that would make the boy feel better. It hurt, realizing he could do nothing for Caden. He wanted to help him so badly, but there was nothing he could do that would make his boyfriend feel better. Melting into Caden's tight grip, Axel waited for Caden to begin explaining. He didn't even have to ask, Caden began explaining his reason for being so upset almost immediately.
After hearing all that Caden had said, Axel was speechless. He didn't know what to say without making it worse. He didn't get it, though, Caden was always saying it was better to move on. So why was he dwelling on Ryker? Mentally scolding himself, Axel was reminded that Ryker was Caden's first love. The first love always left an imprint, something that was never forgotten. Axel would only know from what Caden told him, since Caden was his first love. He smiled inwardly, knowing he'd love Caden forever. Nothing would ever prevent him from loving the blonde, nothing would come between them. Or so he hoped.
Clearing his throat, Axel reached toward Caden's face, wiping his tears. "Don't cry, Cay. Please don't cry.'' He felt tears pricking the back of his own eyes at the sight of his loved one crying. A huge frown still on his face, he wrapped his arms more securely around Caden, as if to assure him he'd never let him go. Biting his lip, he spoke again. "Look, Caden, I know it's hard to let him go. But you need to forget him. Not completely, just don't let that event tarnish your memory of him. Remember him as your first love, the one you cared for first. And always, always understand," Axel paused, sniffling quietly, "I'll always love you. I'd never hurt you like he did, I promise. And that's a promise I intend on keeping." he smiled reassuringly, kissing Caden's temple lovingly.
After Caden fell asleep in his arms, Axel began stroking his cheeks softly, and playing with his hair. He loved the soft feel of Caden's hair, and the way his skin felt underneath Axel's fingers. He smiled as he gazed down at Caden's sleeping form, then yawned. Just the look of Caden sleeping made him tired. He scooped Caden up, bridal style, and carried him into the bedroom they shared. Placing him on the bed, Axel crawled up next to him, pulling up the sheets for warmth. Adjusting his body so it was in sync with Caden's, he sighed. After blinking a few times, he placed his nose in the crook of Caden's neck, inhaling his sweet scent. Taking in everything he'd heard earlier, he sighed again. He felt honoured that Caden trusted him with his most painful, and most likely frightening, memory of his ex-boyfriend. But at the same time, it troubled him. If it was bad enough that it made Caden cry, then it must have been hell. Then again, why did Caden even date Ryker in the first place? Maybe he could ask him when they woke up. Yawning again, Axel wrapped his arms around Caden's abdomen, pulling him closer, so there was no space between them. He could hear Caden's heart beating beside him, and he could feel his own heart beating against his chest. He smiled. His heart was beating for Caden, and no one else. It never would beat for anyone else. Content with his thoughts, Axel fell asleep to the dull thud of Caden's heart.

With all the drama lately, Caden woke up realizing he hasn't had sex with Axel in a while. Some may judge, and complain how because he is a guy, thats all he wants to do. Caden wished he could show the world what it felt like to be a homosexual who was a guy, "trust me, its a lot harder then it looks" was the response he would give. This morning Caden woke up before Axel did, which was a first. He didn't know what to do, so he came closer to Axel and cuddled him. Taking his hand he weaved it through his, although his hand was meant to hold his forever. He slightly rubbed his lips against his hand. As the rough skin clashed with his lips, he couldn't help it but have a moment of sexual bliss. At that moment, before he could stop himself in rolled on top of Axels body and placed his lips on his lips. By then Axel started to wake, however wasn't truly aware of what was happening. Taking things slowly, Caden started to kiss him more passionately. This time putting a little more force and finally adding his tongue into the equation. Finally Axel started to awake from his slumber, and placed his hands behind Caden's head pulling him closer to his body. Slowly sifting his head, Caden started to kiss Axel's neck, every once in a while sucking a little part of his neck. Caden never knew why, but that was Axels trigger.
Axel opening his body more to Caden, Caden started to kiss the top of collarbone while he took his hands and lifted up Axels shirt, implying he wanted to go more then just make out in bed. Taking off his shirt, Axel was left on the bed relaxing, while Caden took over. Sliding his hand down Axels body, Caden finally reached the end of his chest, and slide his hand, softly, yet quickly down Axels pants. Axel started to give off a slight moan, signifying to Caden that he just enjoyed what Caden did. Caden slowly rubbed down Axels body heading towards his legs. Axel knew what was coming next, but couldn't keep it in. He let out a big groan and started to get hard. Caden had finally finished kissing his entire chest, and stopped rubbing Axels penis, and started to take off his pants. Axel hesitated, Caden knew how self conscious he got during intercourse, although no matter how many times Caden told Axel he was hot, and his package was a good size, Axel couldn't help but squirm in worry. "I can slow down if you want?" Caden mentioned, while stopping everything he was doing. Caden often felt guilty, as though he was moving to quickly. He didn't want to loose Axel. He was always afraid he wasn't doing something right, or he wasn't doing enough. "No please, continue... I am enjoying this" Axel mentioned after a brief moment of awkward silence. Caden, did as he was told, he went back to where he left off. Once the pants came off, he couldn't help but get excited. He admired the way Axels package laid there and how nicely it was shaped. Smiling to himself, Caden thought... "Only a homosexual would think of how perfect a 'package' is... wow. Now I sound gay. Which coming from a gay guy isn't all that good"
Axel replaced his hands behind Caden's neck. As Caden started sucking, he got a little harder, and started to help Caden's motion by guiding his head to the exact spot that made him orgasm. While Axel started to get harder, Caden couldn't help but get harder in return. Whenever Axel was turned on, it made him turn on. The way Axels stomach would tighten up right before an orgasm, or the way he would start to moan and then let out a groan, and then silence would take place again turned Caden on. By the end of there little intercourse, it took Caden 2 hours to un harden and start to get ready for the day ahead.
Caden wished he didn't cut the sex short that morning, but knowing Axel, he had to take it easy. There was only so much he could take in. Getting off him, he kissed him on the lips passionatly and left to take a shower, while Axel got dressed for the day.
During Caden's shower, he was able to think about how lucky he was to have Axel. He never knew such love existed. Soon later Caden couldn't start to tear up. This was the only time he was happy Axel couldn't hear him. The sound of the water hitting the surface of his skin, was loud enough to cover up the cries he let out in fear of loosing Axel. He didn't know when was a good time, or how to set up the moment he would tell me, but he was now truly ready to tell Axel: "I love you."













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Im sorry this post isn't as good as my other ones, I will make it up in my next post:3